Just so you know, this is who you’re talking to:
And yes, you guys will be so happy together!
Honestly, I don’t even know what to recommend…
In literally every single body of water that is large enough to fit your body.
It’s cool, bro. Just say this:
“Racism doesn’t exist. It’s a concept made up by the liberal media and the Hollywood elite in an attempt to push their left-wing agendas and let the gays marry each other.”
Then, just drop the mic and walk away, that’s it. Just drop the mic and walk away. Be sure to relish in the onslaught of applause you’ll definitely receive.
I was devastated when the doctor told me that I had come down with a severe case of ripped off limb. I thought my life would never be the same. But the doctor assured me that I wasn’t alone, and that there were other ripped off limb survivors just like me. There’s even an online support group where people afflicted with ripped off limb can go and share their stories, tips for newbies, and other useful information. Visit www.angelfire.com/574830/RippedOffLimb/ information.org today, and finally get the help you need.
I was on the fence about this one for a while. It wasn’t until I went to the bathroom, took a massive shit, and then named the biggest turd Craigory that it really started to grow on me. As for the middle name, I’d go with Retard. I mean, the kids are going to be calling him that anyway, you might as well make it official.
Absolutely brilliant and inspired. It recalls the lyrical prowess of Frederick Durst, while still maintaining the intelligent ferocity of the Insane Clown Posse. If ever there was someone to give rap rock a much needed revitalization, it would be you, sir. Now get out there and make P.O.D proud!
Oh man, being fat is awesome! Just ask anyone on the street and they’ll tell you; it is fantastic! You get to eat anything you want, buy bigger clothes, take up more space, walk slower… the list goes on and on. I think what I like best about being fat is how it makes me a risk taker. Normally I’m not one to gamble with my health or anything, and my relationships with people have suffered because of it. Not anymore. Going to the doctor’s office is like playing Russian roulette, every time. I feel like James fucking Bond. And conferrable? Forget about it. People will be nonstop conferring with you once you pack on the pounds. They’ll be all like, “Are you okay?” or “You look really unhealthy” or “Due to your sudden weight gain and sugar intake, you now have diabetes.” It’ll be great, go for it.
Where to begin with this question… First of all, Hulk Hogan. Secondly, I really like that this is someone’s ‘ultimate’ question. It’s like, if this person died and went to heaven and got to ask God any question he wanted, he wouldn’t start off with life’s meanings or make inquiries about various unsolved mysteries. No, none of that boring shit. He would kick it off with ‘John Cena or Hulk Hogan?’. I also really enjoy the fact that this question isn’t even in any context, it’s just ‘John Cena or Hulk Hogan?’. It could be anything! Who’s the better actor? Who has gooder muscles? Who has the better wrestling garments? Who do you think has a bigger dong? Nope. Just ‘John Cena or Hulk Hogan?’. But finally, I think my favorite part of this question comes in the form of the asker’s choice in their user name…
